


What Are Best Friends For?

by exoccult



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Slice of Life, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 07:32:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12164352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exoccult/pseuds/exoccult
Summary: Jongdae usually has no problem putting together words for his novels, but this time he needs the extra help. He finds a muse in his best friend Joonmyun, but soon enough he needsmoreinspiration. Joonmyun is more than willing to help. That's what best friends are for, right?





	What Are Best Friends For?

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [cc_round4](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/cc_round4) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> Jongdae is a romance novelist, and Joonmyun's his best friend who helps inspire him along the way. With his current writer's block, Jongdae's going to need more inspiration, more touching, more _more_. That should be fine, right? After all, Joonmyun's his best friend, and he just wants to help.
> 
>  **Side Pairings:** Baekhyun/Lay, Luhan/Xiumin
> 
>  **Author's Comments:** Thank for this amazing prompt, OP. I can only hope I did it justice. Thank you to the mods for their patience with me as well and, of course, for the extensions. I didn't have time for this to be beta'd, so I hope it's okay at least.

“What the fuck…” Jongdae grumbles as he angrily hits the delete button on his macbook several times until he’s deleted the entirety of the last line he just typed. The only line he’s typed in an hour.

He sits back in his chair, clearly annoyed, as he stares at the blank word document, but nothing is coming to him. Nothing except for the lines he used in his last novel and possibly the novel before that. With an irritated sigh, Jongdae slams the cover of his laptop closed, uncaring as to whether he just cracked the screen again or not.

“Fuck,” Jongdae mutters as he tosses the device onto his bed, watching it bounce a few times and secretly hoping that it won’t fall off the side and smash, even though he’s sure he wouldn’t care much right now if it did.

“What’s wrong with you?” his roommate’s voice startles him and when the hell did Baekhyun show up in his doorway…?

“I’m giving up,” Jongdae says - an empty threat.

He couldn’t count the number of times he’s said that since this morning when he woke up. It had started when his alarm went off at eight and it hasn’t stopped since. Giving up, as he is fully aware, is not an option, since his small salary depends on it. Whatever _it_ is supposed to be.

A novel, he thinks. It’s supposed to be a novel, and yet he has no idea what he’s doing.

“You can’t give up.” Baekhyun says as he invites himself into the room, allowing himself permission to sit on Jongdae’s bed and even going so far as to actually open up Jongdae’s discarded laptop to read the document.

Jongdae frowns childishly, “Watch me.”

Baekhyun tries, _really_ tries, not to snort, but he does anyway, “As your roommate and your best friend-”

“You’re not my best friend.” Jongdae interjects to which Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

“As your roommate and your _friend_ , I can’t let you give up.”

Jongdae then tries, _really_ tries (read: doesn’t try in the slightest), not to glare at Baekhyun.

“You don’t have the authority to not allow me to give up,” Jongdae mutters as he runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“It can’t be _that_ bad,” Baekhyun hums as he clicks on the document. It takes him a moment to realize what he’s looking at and then he looks at Jongdae with almost all of the confusion that Jongdae’s writers’ block is giving him.

“You haven’t written anything.” Baekhyun deadpans.

“No shit, Sherlock.” Jongdae sighs, “Give it back.”

“You threw it,” Baekhyun counters and then cracks his knuckles over the keyboard, “Why don’t I give it a try? Put me down as your co-author.”

“Don’t,” Jongdae groans, failing at hiding the smile creeping onto his face, “Don’t even try, God, you’re an awful writer, Baek.”

“Hey now,” Baekhyun scrunches up his nose after catching sight of the small smile on his friend’s face, “I’m not _that_ bad.”

“You’re right, you’re actually worse,” Jongdae mutters as he flops down on the other side of his bed, “I’m really going to give up this time.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes again and Jongdae wonders if one day his eyes will ever get stuck back there so that Baekhyun will be forced to peer into the nothingness contained in his head.

“No, you’re really not.”

“Screw you Byun Baekhyun,” Jongdae sighs, but there’s no sting behind his words.

“Please, don’t.” Baekhyun makes a weird face, “I’m already sleeping with your boss.”

“Ew, thanks for the reminder.”

Baekhyun nearly laughs before he snaps his fingers, “I know what you need, you need to get yourself laid. Then come back and write about a one night stand or something.”

“Did you even _read_ my last novel?” Jongdae grumbles.

Baekhyun shrugs, “Is the correct answer ‘yes’?”

Jongdae promptly hits him over the head with his pillow, “Get out.”

“Yikes,” Baekhyun chuckles, “If I remember correctly, your last novel was a few years ago. You’ve only managed to publish a few short stories since.”

“And a book of poetry,” Jongdae reminds him, tapping on the side of his laptop in mock thought.

“And who helped you get through all of that?” Baekhyun asks, wiggling his eyebrows and even though he’s not looking, Jongdae knows what he’s suggesting.

“I’m not,” Jongdae licks his lips, “I’m not going to ask him to do that again.”

“Why not?” Baekhyun asks, the teasing lilt in his voice only slightly annoying, “He’s always willing to help you.”

“I’m not going to bother Joonmyun with my stupid problems.” Jongdae sighs, thinking about how simple Joonmyun made everything the last time.

It would be _easy_ , Jongdae thinks, to contact his best friend and ask for him to help again. Joonmyun who is always eager to please and to assist in Jongdae’s hour of need. This time, with an entire novel on the line, he doesn’t think it would be right to ask him. There’s too much in a romance novel that he’s sure Joonmyun would not be willing to participate in.

Romance needs to be raw, but Joonmyun can’t conjure up feelings he doesn’t have and, in return, Jongdae could give nothing back. The characters of the novel need to fall in love, experience happiness, the end. But with Joonmyun, it wouldn’t be right… Would it?

Perhaps, Jongdae is simply jumping to conclusions. He doesn’t _want_ to ask, oh no, he couldn’t bother his best friend like this. Joonmyun is a busy man with a real job - because writing is not a real job - and it wouldn’t be fair to ask Joonmyun to set aside his hectic life and join Jongdae in his quest to find love for the characters in his book. He tells himself that he _needs_ to ask as he dials Joonmyun’s office number, besides, how much harm could it really do?

It’s when Joonmyun’s secretary answers the phone that he wants to hang up, but he persists against his better judgement. Joonmyun said he would always be there when Jongdae needs him and, well, Jongdae _needs_ him now. So, he asks for Joonmyun and he almost hears the indignant eye roll from the young boy on the other line.

Between the moment in which he is put on hold as his call is being transferred and the moment in which Joonmyun actually picks up the phone, Jongdae debates the pros and cons of hanging up. Right now. By the time he realizes that this is a really bad idea and he should hang up before he hears Joonmyun’s voice, it’s too late. Even as Joonmyun repeats his greeting for the second time, Jongdae still thinks it would be better to hang up than to actually say anything at all. Maybe he should just-

“Jongdae,” Joonmyun calls, “I know it’s you. I have caller ID.”

Jongdae lets out the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding in and laughs awkwardly, “Surprise.”

Joonmyun chuckles, “Sehun sounded rather unimpressed that you had called.”

“He always sounds like that,” Jongdae blurts and Joonmyun laughs loudly into the receiver, making Jongdae smile wide at the thought of the look on his face. Joonmyun always looks so handsome when he laughs with a smile that turns heads. Jongdae hates to admit it, but he’s jealous.

“Is there anything important you needed?” Joonmyun asks, clearly still amused.

Jongdae can’t think of what to say quite yet. How does he ask Joonmyun, who has finally received that big promotion he’s been pining after, to drop everything and come help him? Last time it had been easier, since Joonmyun had only just started at the company and staying at Jongdae’s apartment during that time was a fair trade as it was closer to the office building. He thinks now that it might not be as simple.

“What are you doing this weekend?” he asks finally.

“Oh,” Joonmyun sounds almost surprised, “Nothing, why? Did you want to grab lunch together or something? We haven’t seen each other in a while.”

“I was thinking,” Jongdae hums, collecting his thoughts, “You could come over this weekend? We’ll have a sleepover.”

“What?” Joonmyun asks sounding confused, “A sleepover? How old are we?”

Jongdae laughs, genuinely this time, “Sounds stupid, doesn’t it?”

“No, no,” kind, patient, Joonmyun responds, “Not stupid. It’s out of the blue though… Plus, I’d rather not spend a night trapped in such small confines with Baekhyun around…” he trails off, because as much as Baekhyun annoys Jongdae sometimes too, Jongdae can at least tolerate him for being so much like himself.

“Baekhyun will be out,” he says quickly and Baekhyun yells out ‘hey!’ in the background, muffled behind the door of Jongdae’s room.

“He will?” Joonmyun sounds almost excited, “Okay. Let’s do it then. It’ll be like old times.”

Old times meaning when Joonmyun had moved in next door when they were in middle school, and Jongdae was the only person friendly enough to actually go over and talk to him. Back when things were simpler between them. Back when they had all the time in the world to lie in the shade of the tree in Jongdae’s backyard and look at the clouds until they became stars.

Jongdae thinks he’d like to go back to that time in his life. It was less stressful and he could just lie next to Joonmyun without worrying about things like romance, because back then they were too young to think anything of it. But now, people would see them together and they would _talk_. Jongdae just wants things to be simple again - when people could hold hands and it would mean nothing to anyone at all.

His train of thought sparks a new beginning for his so-called novel (a blank Google Docs document) and he starts to write about kids playing in the branches of trees and two boys spending an entire summer going on their own adventures, discovering the world around them. A smile graces his face as he wonders what Joonmyun would think of it - he would probably say something about how cute it is. He figures, as intelligent as Joonmyun is, he would still be oblivious to the two boys in the story being them as children.

It’s not until a knock comes on his apartment door that Jongdae realizes what time it is, staring at the small 8:05 pm in the upper right-hand corner of his screen before closing the cover to his laptop. He knows it’s his guest waiting patiently at the door for him and he scuffs across the floor to answer it.

Joonmyun knows the passcode to get in, but he always insists on knocking, because it’s the polite thing to do. Maybe that’s part of the reason why Joonmyun works for a billion dollar corporation and Jongdae eats ramen every Friday night. Jongdae has never figured out how Joonmyun could be so perfect in everything he did, everything he still does.

“Come on in,” Jongdae hums as he swings the door open.

“You’re in pyjamas.” Joonmyun notices instantly, as he enters and slips into the set of slippers Jongdae bought for him a few years ago.

Jongdae nods, “Proper sleepover attire.” he winks and takes the plastic bag Joonmyun is holding in his hands, “You brought snacks.”

“Of course, I always bring snacks,” Joonmyun smiles.

And just like that, the two fall into their routine, with playful banter and laughs loud enough for the old lady next door to knock on the door and ask them to keep it down a little. Jongdae and Joonmyun are very apologetic, of course, spending the rest of the night in quiet giggle fits on the floor of Jongdae’s livingroom. For a moment, Jongdae wishes he could spend every night like this with Joonmyun, because who wouldn’t want to spend all the time in the world with their best friend? It’s only natural that amongst all the fun that they’re having, he completely forgets to ask Joonmyun for his help.

At some point in between all the giggling and the yawning, they both fall asleep in Jongdae’s living room. On the floor, no less. So when the sun rises, it streams beyond the thin curtains that Jongdae bought at a garage sale for the purposes of describing how the light filters through them. He regrets that now as it shines in bright strips of light on the floor and across his face. It makes his eyes flutter and eventually he wakes up with a groan of pain, because falling asleep on the floor is often times rather unpleasant.

Especially, Jongdae realizes, when you’re the little spoon of some best friend cuddles and said best friend has his arm and leg draped over Jongdae’s body. And while this would be nice in theory, Jongdae is stuck between Joonmyun and the couch with an uncomfortable kink in his neck from having used Joonmyun’s bicep as his pillow. He thinks this would have been much more convenient if they had fallen asleep on his fluffy-ish bed.

“Stop,” Joonmyun mumbles into the nape of Jongdae’s neck, warm breath sending a shiver down Jongdae’s spine, “Stop moving. Sleep.” he murmurs and Jongdae willingly obliges.

He makes sure to note how scratchy and wonderfully deep Joonmyun’s voice sounds this early in the morning. He thinks maybe that this would be what Joonmyun would sound like the morning after… For the novel, of course. He’s only thinking about the novel. At least, that’s what he wants to be thinking about.

The problem with sleepovers between two male, best friends, is that the morning often brings about… Well, morningwood. While probably fun between lovers, Joonmyun is his best friend, so he can’t be thinking about this right now. His _very gifted_ , best friend, as he’s come to discover on this sunny day. Jongdae swallows, hard. _Very hard_.

Just when Jongdae thinks that this really couldn’t be anymore awkward, Joonmyun pulls him closer to his body and lets out this little whimper sound that has him hot and bothered. He turns in Joonmyun’s arms, becoming plastered against his best friend’s chest and wonders if Joonmyun is dreaming and, if so, what he’s dreaming about. He’s not thinking about it for very long though, when Joonmyun nuzzles into him, making his entire brain short circuit.

This is the kind of thing Jongdae has been needing for the last few months. Inspiration. Of course, Joonmyun would be the best inspiration for this new novel, because they’re already close. Doing this kind of thing wouldn’t be weird. It shouldn’t be weird. It certainly doesn’t _feel weird._ It feels good actually, _really good_.

“Joonmyun,” Jongdae whispers, pulling the elder from his dreams, “I have a question to ask you.”

Joonmyun nods sleepily and yawns, “Mm?”

“Will you become my muse?” Jongdae whispers into his chest and Joonmyun’s entire body shivers.

“Okay,” he whispers back, “Anything for you.”

 _Anything_ indeed.

Joonmyun and Jongdae talk it over further over some breakfast, which is really just snacks from last night and some instant coffee. Jongdae can see all of the effort that it takes for Joonmyun not to look disgusted as he drinks the beverage, because in his office he has a Keurig plus an intern who does a daily coffee run to the nearest Starbucks. Jongdae doesn’t want to call Joonmyun a coffee snob or anything, but he’s a coffee snob. So, Jongdae finds it incredibly endearing that Joonmyun suffers through an entire mug of the sludge he’s drinking, eyebrows knitting together and face twisting in disgust, without complaining once.

“So,” Joonmyun hums, “Will this be the same as last time?”

Jongdae smiles shyly, cheeks turning a little pink, “Yeah, if that’s okay… Having you around last time made writing that book of poetry really easy.”

Joonmyun nods and chuckles quietly, “Those poems were very sweet. Some of them made it sound like you were in love with me.”

Jongdae nearly chokes on his coffee, but he’s quick to come up with a quip, “Then I did my job.”

Joonmyun squeezes his eyes shut as he laughs, his smile making Jongdae’s heart thump loudly in his ears, “I guess you did.”

Content with the laugh Joonmyun lets out, Jongdae tries to test the waters with his new muse. He reaches across the table and gently rests his hand over Joonmyun’s. Joonmyun, whose eyes snap open in surprise as his cheeks dust a rosey pink. Thinking this is too far, Jongdae retreats, but Joonmyun stops him by taking his hand in his own, much to both of their surprise, as their wide eyes meet.

“Is this okay?” Jongdae asks tentatively and Joonmyun squeezes his fingers.

Jongdae thinks his heart is going to burst out of his chest.

He tells himself that he’s probably just anxious about the reply.

Joonmyun nods in confirmation, “Yes.”

Jongdae’s heart skips a beat.

He tells himself it’s because he’s happy to have a bestfriend like Joonmyun.

***

On Monday morning, Jongdae has an unwanted meeting with his publisher about his current project, which he started nearly three months ago. It’s only natural that as soon as he sits down in the chair across from his publicist’s desk, he wants nothing more than for it to swallow him whole. It doesn’t. So, he’s stuck there dreading every second that passes by as he waits for him to ask the inevitable.

“How’s the manuscript coming along?” Yixing asks as he folds his hands across his desk.

Jongdae shrugs - he’s going to play it cool, “I wrote what could be possibly considered a prologue.”

Yixing hums with a nod as he leans back in his squeaky office chair, “It’s been three months.”

“Has it?” Jongdae asks, nervously picking at his fingernails, “Hadn’t noticed.”

Yixing takes a deep breath, because Jongdae has this way of getting under his skin during their meetings, “Baekhyun says you have a new muse.”

“He did, huh?” Jongdae mutters and makes a mental note to destroy Baekhyun the next time he sees him, which is when he gets home right after this meeting. Assuming Yixing doesn’t kill him first.

“He said it’s your best friend,” Yixing grins, knowing now that he’s hit a weak point in the hopes of turning this meeting around in his favor, “Wasn’t he the inspiration for your last work too?”

Jongdae shrugs, “Maybe.”

Yixing wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and Jongdae is suddenly reminded of Baekhyun. That makes him shudder uncomfortably and he has to cough to make Yixing stop making those faces at him.

“Joonmyun, if I remember correctly,” Yixing clucks his tongue, “Whatever works. As long as you’re writing again. It’s been almost a year since your last publication and even longer since your last novel. Your fans are getting antsy and _my_ boss is starting to demand progress reports.”

Jongdae huffs, “Be a writer, they said, it’ll be freeing, they said.”

Yixing snorts, “Quit being such a drama queen and go get your man.”

“He’s not _my_ man,” Jongdae says, cooly hiding his flushed cheeks behind his feigned frustration, “He’s my best friend who has agreed to help me out… Again.”

“I don’t care what he is,” Yixing admits in earnest, “What I do care about is the size of your manuscript.”

“I don’t even have one-”

“Exactly,” Yixing hums, “Hop to it. I expect a draft of at least one chapter by next week or I will start sending you screen shots of mine and Baekhyun’s personal life.”

“Oh, God, no.”

Yixing smiles victoriously, “At least one chapter, Jongdae. Make this next week count.”

Jongdae rolls his eyes and slips out of the uncomfortable office chair across from Yixing’s desk. He’s ready to leave before Yixing can make another face like Baekhyun or, even worse, say something that might sound remotely like something Baekhyun would say, when Yixing clears his throat. Jongdae debates looking back over his shoulder, but seeing as Yixing cuts his cheques, he does.

“Your current novel is another romance novel, right?”

Jongdae makes a weird face, because of course it is, that’s all he writes, “Yes?”

Yixing quirks an eyebrow, “Does your bestfriend know that?”

“I guess…” Jongdae mumbles, wondering if Joonmyun even really knows what Jongdae’s current project is. He assumes Joonmyun must know, because he didn’t ask and Jongdae always writes romance…

“And he’s okay with that?”

Part of Jongdae thinks that no, maybe he’s not okay with it, but then again Joonmyun said it was fine.

“Yes.”

Yes, he tells himself, because thinking that _yes_ this is okay makes him feel a whole lot better about it.

***

It starts as a leisurely pace, the whole muse thing. Joonmyun still works full time, so it’s not like Jongdae sees him that often anyway and he figures it’s for the better so he can focus on writing while the latter isn’t around. He settles for brief meetings during the week that are usually cut far too short, seeing as Joonmyun is on his way to becoming vice president and is always on-call. That and weekend bro dates at bars where they share meals or hit up local coffee shops for pastries and a chat. Sometimes they even sleep at each other’s places just for an added effect.

However, things are progressing rather slowly for Jongdae and he needs… More. He needs to touch Joonmyun. And that means more than just holding hands as they go through shops together or linking arms as they walk through the park. He needs to get closer, physically. But how the hell is he supposed to bring that up to his best friend? That’s why, he doesn’t.

“That’s my slice of pizza,” Joonmyun comments as Jongdae reaches out to the greasy box and picks up the very last slice of pizza they had ordered earlier that night.

“Not anymore,” Jongdae grins, taking a bite, making Joonmyun pout playfully.

“Share,” Joonmyun demands, nudging Jongdae with his shoulder, “I want some too.”

Jongdae looks at Joonmyun for a long moment when a lightbulb flickers on in his head. An opportunity has arisen. This is probably not good, but he acts on the idea anyway. He takes the slice of pizza from his mouth and offers it to Joonmyun, who reaches out for it only to have it slip away from his grasp at the last moment.

“Jongdae,” Joonmyun gasps exasperated.

“Joonmyun,” Jongdae replies teasingly, “Open your mouth.” he says, face flushing at the thoughts that begin to pervade his mind.

Joonmyun’s cheeks flush with heat too, but he obeys anyway.. Jongdae finally brings the pizza slice to Joonmyun’s mouth, letting him take a bite so close to his fingers that Joonmyun’s lips brush against the pads of them. Jongdae’s heart abruptly stops. This was definitely a bad idea.

“You’ve got,” Jongdae chuckles, “Pizza sauce.” he laughs to cover up just how nervous he’s feeling, pointing at the corner of his own mouth to show Joonmyun where to wipe.

“No thanks to you,” Joonmyun says, looking away and trying to lick the corner of his lip.

“Do you need a napkin?” Jongdae asks, reaching out to grab one from the coffee table, but Joonmyun shakes his head.

“I’ve got this,” he mutters, licking his tongue out to swipe the pizza sauce from the corner of his lips. Jongdae’s mouth waters a little at the sight of Joonmyun’s long tongue and he has to look away, only he can’t. He should _not_ be thinking this way about his best friend, but that tongue could do extraordinary things, he’s sure. Joonmyun’s lovers are lucky.

“Is there still sauce on my face?” Joonmyun asks, startling Jongdae.

“W-What?”

“You’re staring,” Joonmyun says, squinting at Jongdae, “I was wondering if there was still sauce on my face.”

Jongdae laughs awkwardly, “No, I was just thinking about my novel. Come on, put on the next movie.”

Joonmyun chuckles as he stands up and stretches out his back, “Would you like a beer?”

“Do you have any soju?”

“Coming right up!”

Jongdae and Joonmyun settle in for a long night of movies and drinking. This reminds Jongdae of the old days he spent in university when he would sleep on Joonmyun’s couch after a long night of studying together. Those days are still fresh in his mind and he remembers them rather vividly. If only he could go back in time and tell his younger self to pursue a different career, maybe he’d be in a different position now.

However, as Jongdae settles his head onto Joonmyun’s lap, he can’t imagine wanting to be in any other position at all.

“Is this okay?” Jongdae asks.

Joonmyun doesn’t respond and Jongdae thinks he should move maybe, because he’s probably pushed his limits and has made Joonmyun uncomfortable. After all, they’re best friends, not lovers and this might be too much-

Jongdae’s thoughts stop short when Joonmyun’s hand comes down onto his head, petting him, “Yes.” he says.

He really wouldn’t trade this position for the world, especially not when Joonmyun’s fingers thread through his hair. Jongdae’s heart leaps into his throat as he tries not to think about how nice that feels, but he does anyway. He closes his eyes while Joonmyun focuses on the movie before Jongdae slowly lulls to sleep.

***

“You didn’t come home last night.” Baekhyun says with a smirk as Jongdae enters the apartment.

Jongdae groans, the onset of his slight hangover still hovering over him. He doesn’t want to listen to this nuisance today. Baekhyun probably knows this, he just doesn’t care.

“I was with Joonmyun.”

Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows, “How are things between you two?”

“Don’t.”

“What? I haven’t done anything.”

“I know what you’re implying,” Jongdae sighs as he opens the fridge to grab a bottle of water, “Nothing happened. I just fell asleep on his couch.”

“I’m having flashbacks to university.” Baekhyun shudders before he grins cheekily, “You guys were drinking.” he notes when he realizes that Jongdae is, in fact, suffering from a hangover.

“Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner.” Jongdae huffs as he tips back his bottle and takes a long sip.

Baekhyun snorts in amusement as he approaches Jongdae, coming uncomfortably close, “Well, well, do you remember the last time you two caught yourselves drinking together?”

Jongdae promptly chokes on his water, sputtering until he’s forced to spit it out in the sink.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies, obviously.

“Come on,” Baekhyun grins, “You two fucked back then, didn’t you?”

“Oh my God, you’re so crude,” Jongdae scoffs as he takes another sip of his water - his mouth is feeling rather dry, “We didn’t.”

“Oh please, you guys had been so touchy all that night.”

“We were drunk. You were drunk. And that was years ago.” Jongdae defends.

“You can’t pretend like it never happened.” Baekhyun sing-songs, slipping the bottle of water from Jongdae’s hands.

“I can and I will,” Jongdae whines, reaching out for the bottle, “Give it back.”

“Not until you admit it.” Baekhyun grins, holding the bottle just out of Jongdae’s reach - the jerk.

“Admit what?”

“That you and Joonmyun slept together that night.”

Jongdae frowns, his eyebrows furrowing, “We didn’t.”

Baekhyun is surprised by the stern tone in Jongdae’s voice and he comes to the realization that Jongdae is actually telling the truth to him, “Shit, you really didn’t. All this time, I thought you were just denying it, but you two really didn’t sleep together?”

“I told you,” Jongdae sighs in defeat only now managing to snatch the bottle back from a defenseless Baekhyun, “We didn’t then and we didn’t last night and we likely never will. We’re best friends and I got over it.”

Jongdae takes a long sip of his water and excuses himself to go collapse on his bed. The night Baekhyun was talking about still rings clear in his mind even to this day. It had been years ago when he and Joonmyun had decided to go to a party at the house of a friend. That night, Joonmyun was drunk, _really_ drunk, and Jongdae was drunk too, but not drunk enough to forget everything the next day.

Joonmyun had been very touchy though, as Baekhyun had said, and Jongdae had reciprocated those touches until the last moment. They didn’t sleep together then, but they had kissed drunkenly until Joonmyun had moaned someone’s name. And it wasn’t Jongdae’s. It wasn’t then and it would never be, Jongdae realized that night, so he left the party with Joonmyun and let his _best friend_ sleep on his own couch for once.

Jongdae groans at the unwanted memory and buries his face into his pillow. He’s supposed to be writing romance, not this angsty shit that keeps haunting him.

His laptop remains untouched for the entire afternoon.

***

“What are you doing here?” Sehun asks with his arms crossed over his chest.

Jongdae can’t help but giggle, because as stone cold as Sehun tries to act, he knows just how snuggly and cuddly he can be when severly drunk. Jongdae knows this, because when Joonmyun got his promotion, they went out drinking to celebrate and Sehun curled into everyone the entire nite. Jongdae won’t let this fact go much to Sehun’s chagrin.

“Joonmyun’s break is soon and I brought him lunch,” Jongdae smirks, holding up a paper bag from a takeout joint.

“You brought him takeout.” Sehun deadpans with an eye roll to emphasis his discontent.

Jongdae mimics the eye roll, “Joonmyun loves Chinese food.”

“It smells greasy and gross.” Sehun complains, but he’s not left to whine about it for too long.

As if on cue, Joonmyun appears from his office looking a little sleepy, but otherwise happy to smell the delicious grease practically dripping from the bag of takeout. His grin is so wide when he greets Jongdae and Jongdae’s heart betrays him by skipping a beat. Sehun huffs and plops back down in his chair, watching the two friends in annoyance.

“That smells delicious,” Joonmyun practically drools, “Did you bring this all the way here for me?”

Jongdae nods, fighting off the heat rising in his face, “You said you forgot your lunch.” he says, clearing his throat, “I thought we could have a lunch date.”

He inwardly cringes at the use of the word _date_. This isn’t a date, this is lunch. Just lunch. Between two best friends.

“Lunch date, huh?” Joonmyun laughs and opens the door to his office, “Come in. We’ll eat at my desk. Sehun?”

The secretary looks up still looking rather peeved, “Yes?”

“Make sure that no one comes looking for me, okay? Jongdae and I are having a Chinese takeout lunch date.” he grins, putting his hand on Jongdae’s lower back to guide him into the office. Sehun seethes behind his straight face and Jongdae would fist pump victoriously if it weren’t for Joonmyun’s strong hand against his back.

Joonmyun excited reaches into the brown paper bag, pulling out styrofoam containers and chatting happily about how much he loves Chinese food. Jongdae knows this already, but he loves listen to Joonmyun when he’s happy so he just lets him ramble on. He watches intently as Joonmyun takes out the food and opens packets of soy sauce to dump all over his rice.

“How’s the writing going?” Joonmyun asks, snapping a pair of disposable chopsticks in two.

That successfully pulls Jongdae from his trance, “Terribly.” he admits, taking up his own pair of chopsticks and immediately digging into the fried rice.

Joonmyun looks sad for a moment, “Why is that?” he asks, picking at an eggroll absently while watching Jongdae stuff his face.

“Lack of inspiration?” Jongdae offers as a response, his mouth full of rice.

“Oh,” Joonmyun’s eyebrows knit together and he puts his chopsticks down.

Jongdae wonders what he said wrong when he realizes-

“I didn’t mean,” he chokes, swallowing his food hard, “I didn’t mean that you were the problem. I just meant that…” _he needs more_. How can he say it?

“Meant what?”

“I meant that… I need more inspiration, with you.” he says, his own eyebrows knitting together as he stirs the fried rice, “You know what I mean?”

“I think…” Joonmyun licks his lips as he picks up an eggroll with his chopsticks, “I think I know,” he whispers, extending his hand out to offer a bite to Jongdae.

Jongdae hesitates as he opens his mouth to accept a bite of the eggroll. His eyes lock onto Joonmyun’s as he swallows and he thinks he’s imagining the way that Joonmyun’s lips part like he wants to eat him.

Lunch is silent, but not awkward.

“Why don’t you come over tonight?” Joonmyun asks at the end of the break, “Maybe spend the weekend with me?”

This is an unexpected offer, “Are you sure? Aren’t you busy with work?”

Joonmyun scoffs, “Please, we just finished the quarterly report. If you think I’m going to stress out over anything at the moment, you’re so wrong. I’d rather just relax and… Spend time with you.” he says the last part so sincerely that Jongdae would swear that Joonmyun was in love with him.

Except, that’s a ridiculous thought, because Joonmyun is his _best friend_. He’s never been in love with him and he could never be in love with him. End of story.

“Okay,” Jongdae nods in agreement, “If you’re not busy-”

“I’m telling you, Dae, I’m not busy,” he says with a bright smile that melts Jongdae’s heart.

He tells himself he’s feeling this way due to the use of Joonmyun’s endearing nickname for him.

***

Spending the night at Joonmyun’s house should be like any other night, but it’s not.

There’s some unspoken tension between them as they eat leftover Chinese food from lunch - both far too tired to try to cook and definitely not interested in ordering more than they need. Empty bottles of soju and beer litter the floor and the coffee table, but no matter how many drinks either has had, they still haven’t found the words to say to each other. Awkward silence fills the space between them as they watch Star Wars The Force Awakens™ with Joonmyun’s BB8 sphero droid™ making little beeps in the background.

Jongdae doesn’t want to say anything, because it seems like Joonmyun has something on his mind. The thing is, Jongdae can read Joonmyun’s expressions like he’s an open book, so he can tell by the way that Joonmyun keeps licking his lips, opening and closing his mouth, and staring with furrowed eyebrows that he wants to say something. While Jongdae has no trouble picking up on these little quirks of Joonmyun’s, he still struggles with what’s possibly going on inside that head of his.

Silence ensues, except for the sounds of BB8’s reactions to the movie and Kylo Ren’s tantrum after Rey has escaped. Jongdae tries to focus on the TV screen and he wants to laugh as the stormtroopers slowly back away, but he can’t even do that. Instead, he absently reaches for another egg roll, fingers extending across the space between himself and Joonmyun to grab one when he touches something else instead.

The shiver that runs up Jongdae’s spine makes his heart drop and his body freeze. He’s touching Joonmyun’s hand, but he can’t look over at Joonmyun. He thinks about brushing it off like it didn’t happen, only he’s left his hand there for far too long now. Long enough that Joonmyun clears his throat so Jongdae’s head snaps in his direction.

Joonmyun is not looking at Jongdae, he’s staring at the TV screen while chewing his bottom lip. If it weren’t for how warm the room is, Jongdae would swear that Joonmyun is blushing, or maybe that’s just the romanticist part of his imagination playing with him again. Jongdae doesn’t even have a chance to pull his hand away, because the next thing he knows, Joonmyun’s fingers are entwining with his own.

“Are you tired?” Joonmyun whispers, finally looking over at Jongdae with sleepy, half-lidded eyes, “Because I am.”

“A little,” Jongdae whispers back, “Should we sleep?”

Joonmyun nods, “Let’s put this away and then go to bed. There’s a toothbrush for you in the bathroom.”

“You bought me a toothbrush?” Jongdae asks surprised, unintentionally squeezing Joonmyun’s hand.

Joonmyun smiles, “You always forget your toothbrush, so I bought one on the way after work.” he laughs then and pauses the movie on Rey’s face before shutting it off.

“I’ll meet you in the bedroom?” Jongdae asks - he’s trying to be teasing, but it comes off way more shy than his usual character.

Joonmyun lets go of Jongdae’s hand and Jongdae tries not to pout.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “Don’t get too comfy without me.” he tries to tease back, but he’s blushing - he’s definitely blushing, Jongdae can tell now.

Jongdae’s head is spinning when he finishes brushing his teeth. He tries splashing cold water into his face to snap himself out of this weird daze he’s in since that last bottle of soju he drank. It doesn’t work - he can’t get rid of the flush on his cheeks or the buzz from his head. Somehow, he thinks that this might not be good for his sanity as he’s about to share the bed with his best friend.

When he settles into Joonmyun’s bed, he’s ready to fall asleep to the scent of his best friend on the sheets and in the blankets. It smells good, Joonmyun always smells so good, and he finds it to be comforting, familiar, warm. Joonmyun enters the room and flicks the light off before slipping into the bed next to Jongdae, turning on his side in order to face him.

“Hi,” Joonmyun whispers.

Jongdae smiles despite himself, his cat like grin creeping onto his face, “Hi… Is this okay?”

“Is what okay?”

“Sharing the bed.”

Joonmyun pulls the comforter up to his face and nods, snuggling in, “Yes. Why wouldn’t it be?”

Jongdae shrugs, “I don’t know.”

Quiet follows then, as it always seems to do between them these days. Joonmyun is doing a lot of staring, his eyebrows are furrowed and he keeps poking the tip of his tongue out to lick his lips - that means he’s still thinking about whatever he didn’t say before. Jongdae would ask what’s wrong, but he’s really sleepy. He keeps dozing off every few seconds, but each time his eyes reopen, he sees Joonmyun staring at him still.

“Jongdae?”

“Yes?”

Joonmyun reaches out and touches Jongdae’s forehead, pushing his bangs up out of his eyes, “I’ve been thinking.”

Jongdae tilts his head to the side, “I know.” he says, reaching out his thumb to rub the wrinkles between Joonmyun’s eyebrows where they’re still furrowed.

“Quit it,” Joonmyun chuckles softly, reaching out to pull Jongdae against his chest.

“Oof,” Jongdae lets out as his face squishes against Joonmyun’s nightshirt.

Joonmyun doesn’t finish his thoughts, he just wraps his arms around Jongdae’s waist instead and holds him like he’s fragile. Jongdae swallows hard, blaming the dryness in his throat on his alcohol intake.

“Is this okay?” Jongdae asks when he cuddles closer to Joonmyun, because Joonmyun is warm and he really, _really_ likes that about him.

“Yes.” Joonmyun replies, burying his face into Jongdae’s hair.

Things have taken kind of a weird turn and there’s a part of Jongdae that makes him think it’s their slightly tipsy (okay, so they’re pretty much almost drunk) state that has made them lose focus on their conversation again. Not that he minds anyway. Joonmyun holding him like this is so very comforting, so he slips his arms around Joonmyun’s neck, which is making him feel inexplicably nervous.

He needs _more_ from Joonmyun, but he’s not sure if he’s allowed to take it. Maybe he should stop. He really should, but Joonmyun had said he would do _anything_ for Jongdae. So, Jongdae tilts his head up and brushes his nose against Joonmyun’s.

He can feel Joonmyun’s minty breath against his lips and it tingles in a good way. He needs more, he needs to touch _more_. And Joonmyun, he waits in a patient anticipation for Jongdae’s next move, watching with soft, willing eyes. He looks like he’s thinking again, but Jongdae’s body is moving on it’s own.

Jongdae doesn’t ask this time.

Their lips press in the softest of kisses, warmth spreading through Jongdae’s entire body at the sensation of a single _kiss_ . And he’s going to pull away, he’s going to ask this time to make sure this is really _okay_ with Joonmyun, but he can’t. He can’t, because Joonmyun’s hand is flitting up his side and cupping his cheek affectionately as he deepens the kiss between them. Jongdae’s chest _hurts_ with the need for _more_ , but he has to ask first… Because Joonmyun is his _best friend_. He doesn’t want to hurt him.

“Is this okay?” Jongdae mumbles against Joonmyun’s lips.

Joonmyun nods, kissing Jongdae again and again, “Yes.” he whispers.

And Jongdae thinks it shouldn’t be this easy to kiss his best friend, shouldn’t be so natural for him to melt into Joonmyun’s arms like he is now. But he can’t get enough, he needs _more_ , so much _more_ of Joonmyun. He craves the touch and it’s scaring him how much further he’s willing to go with Joonmyun.

He’s drunk, he’s so drunk. They’re both drunk. And kissing Joonmyun is so _nice_.

Sweet, kind Joonmyun whose mouth is so warm and pliant against Jongdae’s. Questions of whether they’re taking this too far are the least of Jongdae’s concern when Joonmyun’s lips part. Jongdae makes this noise of appreciation in the back of his throat that he didn’t even know he could make as his fingers tangle into his _best friend’s_ hair. It should feel so wrong, but it feels so right and Jongdae can’t let it go. Can’t lose that feeling.

For the sake of the novel, he reminds himself. It’s all for the novel.

***

Jongdae wakes up early, still wrapped in Joonmyun’s embrace from last night. Heat rises in his cheeks instantly when he thinks of the kisses and oh God, he wants to do it again and again. The thought sends a shiver coursing through his body as he looks up to see Joonmyun sleeping there. He realizes that maybe his first thought shouldn’t be that his best friend is beautiful like this.

As much as he’d like to stay in the warmth with Joonmyun, he’s got work to do and he can’t afford the distraction right now. Not that… Joonmyun is distracting anyway… Because he’s not. He was once, but not now… Nope. Jongdae isn’t the same naive kid he was in junior high and high school, nor is he that same wistful person he was in university. He knows what he can and cannot have now. And what he can’t have is Joonmyun, his _best friend_ , simply because he’s his best friend. Back then he had to move and so he did.

Settling on Joonmyun’s couch with a cup of rich coffee, Jongdae prepares to write. Words begin to flow from his fingers and he types with ease thinking about how _close_ he is with Joonmyun. How close he _was_ with Joonmyun. Feelings just start to pour out of him and he’s startled by how simply he can recall now all of the emotions he felt then.

He writes about a young boy who comes out to his best friend and a best friend who tells him that it’s okay. It’s okay and he still loves him. And the boy, well he’s never felt more safe and comfortable in his life. There’s no one he’d rather be with than his best friend.

“Jongdae,” Joonmyun’s voice startles him and he slams the cover of his laptop in his haste to hide his work.

“Morning,” he mumbles, turning in his chair.

“You’re awake early,” Joonmyun chuckles, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, “Do you remember when you used to sleep all day in university?”

Jongdae nods, fretting over whether Joonmyun had seen anything he typed, “I remember.”

Joonmyun sighs, but Jongdae can’t tell what it means, “Those were different times.”

“Yeah. Back before we knew who we were.”

“Back before I had come out of the closet.” Joonmyun remembers, sitting down next to Jongdae, “Maybe you could write about coming out and discovering oneself through a relationship.”

Jongdae nearly chokes, “That would be quite the story.”

“Think about it,” Joonmyun says, “It could be compelling.”

“You might be onto something,” Jongdae mumbles, drumming his fingertips on top of his laptop. He doesn’t bother to mention that this new story of his has that exact premise, because it’s about… Them. Sorta.

Joonmyun takes a deep breath before he reaches out to put his hand on Jongdae’s knee pressed against his own, “Listen, about last night-”

Jongdae’s face blanches - he’s just got to play it cool, “What about it?” he asks, looking up at Joonmyun sheepishly. That backfired.

“I-” Joonmyun licks his lips and his eyebrows furrow - he’s thinking too much again, “Jongdae, I-”

There’s hesitation in his voice, in his movements, in his eyes. Jongdae just stares, waiting for Joonmyun to say what’s been on his mind. Except there’s no words being exchanged between them at all. Instead, Joonmyun cups Jongdae’s cheek and then kisses him carefully, like he’s afraid that this is wrong. Their lips touch briefly, but it feels like an eternity.

Their lips make a small wet pop when they part from each other, meaning that Joonmyun has hesitated and moved away. Jongdae is tempted to chase after Joonmyun’s smooth lips, just because they’re very kissable lips. Not because he feels something other than thrilled to be kissed by someone who knows how to kiss properly.

Joonmyun sits back, his hand slips away from Jongdae’s burning cheek and he just stares at Jongdae for a long moment. Something transpires between them, but Jongdae isn’t exactly sure _what_ that is.

“What was that for?” Jongdae breathes out, looking away from Joonmyun’s inviting mouth. Instead, he licks his lips and he can taste Joonmyun’s minty toothpaste there.

“Spontaneity breeds creativity.” Joonmyun blurts out with wide eyes like he’s surprised he was able to form a sentence.

Jongdae’s eyes snap in Joonmyun’s direction and he bursts into awkward laughter to downplay what he’s feeling. _What_ is he feeling?

“Uh,” Joonmyun chuckles and rubs the back of his neck, “I’m going to um- make more coffee,” he says standing abruptly, nearly knocking his knees into the coffee table in the process, “Would you like a top up?”

Jongdae tries not to think about the implication that suddenly blossoms in his mind at that question.

“Yes, please.”

The rest of the weekend is spent in relative silence. They watch Star Wars™ and eat snacks and, most importantly, they _don’t talk about it_ . _It_ being the kisses they shared, the kisses they’re still sharing. Soft ones on the cheek, at the corner of each other’s mouths, one pressed on the shoulder, one left on the forehead.

It should be wrong, but it’s so right. And it’s only _so right_ , because Jongdae figures he can use this material for his novel. All these kisses, they’re lovers’ kisses and he can use that. He could use that a lot. He could use more actually. A lot more.

“Can you kiss me again?” Jongdae asks suddenly and Joonmyun pauses the movie instantly.

“What was that?” he asks, unable to hear Jongdae over the sound of Darth Vader’s theme (The Imperial March™).

“I asked,” Jongdae sighs and licks his lips like he’s still trying to taste the minty freshness of Joonmyun’s toothpaste from this morning, “If you could kiss me again?”

Joonmyun shrugs and leans over, kisses Jongdae’s nose and grins sheepishly. Jongdae giggles, because that was kind of adorable, but he shakes his head.

“I meant the way you did last night,” Jongdae finally explains, looking away, “I want to inspire my characters, you know? Maybe you can surprise me-”

Jongdae’s rambling is cut off by Joonmyun’s lips and then Joonmyun’s tongue licking into his mouth. What the _fuck_. This is happening way too fucking fast and Jongdae isn’t ready yet. Yes, he wants to be kissed, because he needs the inspiration, but… But this is just- It’s so-

“Fuck,” Jongdae whines when Joonmyun pulls away with Jongdae’s bottom lip trapped between his own, “Where did you learn how to do that?” he gasps, when Joonmyun finally releases his lip.

Joonmyun’s face flushes and he shrugs, “You know- just- it’s whatever.”

“You should kiss all the boys like that, they’d be begging to get into your pants.” Jongdae says before his brain can think about it.

Joonmyun just hums and looks away, “Yeah, probably.” he mutters and he looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn’t. He turns the movie back on.

***

“Where were you all weekend?” Baekhyun asks accusingly as Jongdae re-enters their apartment.

“Where do you think?” Jongdae uses as a counter argument, opening up the fridge to take out a bottle of aloe water.

“Weekend with Joonmyun, huh?” Baekhyun teases, “How was the best friend sex then?”

Jongdae temporarily wonders what it would be like if he lived alone, “Don’t be crass. Go suck your boyfriend’s dick or something.”

“Ho, ho,” Baekhyun puts his hands up in defense, but he laughs anyway, “What’s got your panties all in a twist? Need to get some?”

Jongdae throws his bottle of aloe water at Baekhyun and gets him in the gut.

Baekhyun groans, “Alright, alright. What’s wrong then? Tell me.”

“Nothing.” Jongdae says, opening the fridge to take out another bottle of aloe water seeing as how Baekhyun has decided to drink the one that was thrown at him.

“Right, like I’m supposed to believe that. How long have we known each other for? Come on, spill it. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Jongdae mumbles in honesty, “I really don’t know.”

“That sounds not good,” Baekhyun says as he approaches, leaning across the centre island of their kitchen, “Does it have anything to do with Joonmyun-hyung?”

Jongdae shrugs, “Things are weird.”

“Define ‘weird.’ Because, in my opinion, you’re quite weird anyway. So this has got to be severely weird if you, of all people, think that it’s weird.”

“I don’t know. Joonmyun and I kissed and it was weird.”

“Ho. Ly. Shit.” Baekhyun gapes at Jongdae, “You kissed?! YOU KISSED?!”

“Calm down.”

“Was it everything you’ve dreamed of?”

“It was just a kiss.”

“What kind of kiss? Was there tongue?”

Jongdae’s face flushes red, “Gross, stop it.”

“Oh. My. God.” Baekhyun grins at the obvious embarrassment in Jongdae’s expression, “There was definitely tongue!”

“Stop it now.”

“Was he a good kisser or what?”

“It was… Weird, okay? Stop.”

“Wow,” Baekhyun hums almost proudly, “My baby is growing up. Next thing you know you’ll stop pinning and maybe actually involve yourself in a real relationship.”

Jongdae scoffs and takes a sip of his drink, “I’m not pinning.” he says after he’s swallowed, “I stopped pinning back in university.”

“Because of that Luhan guy? You know that Joonmyun didn’t really want to get into his pants right?”

“Who didn’t want to get in his pants, Baek? Of course Joonmyun wanted to too.”

Baekhyun shakes his head, “Listen, I know what I’m talking about. Joonmyun did not want to get into Luhan’s pants.”

“Then why did he moan Luhan’s name?” Jongdae spits out - that’s a small piece of information he’s kept to himself for years.

Baekhyun doesn’t seemed phased by that at all, “Listen, I know _things_ and let me tell you, Joonmyun wanting to get into Luhan’s pants is not true, because it’s one of those things that I know. Source: my knowledge.”

“Doesn’t matter, none of that matters. What matters now is that I kissed Joonmyun and he kissed me, but it was just weird and I don’t know how to fix that. What happens when this novel ends and he stops being my muse? This is different from before and I don’t know how to stop it before it snowballs into something else.” Jongdae says almost in one whole breath and Baekhyun takes a few seconds to try and understand what the hell Jongdae just spewed out of his mouth.

 

“He’s so painfully in love with you,” Baekhyun says after a minute, “Joonmyun is. It almost hurts to watch.”

“What are you talking about? He and I are just friends. We’re not- He’s not-” Jongdae flusters and tries to put that thought way the heck out of his head before it decides to plant a seed of hope in there, “We’re _best friends_.”

“Best friends that _kiss_.” Baekhyun reminds.

“It was a one time thing. Just for the novel.” Jongdae sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, “It won’t happen again.”

***

Jongdae spends the entire week writing.

He writes about a boy entering university for the first time and reconnecting with his best friend.

He writes about a best friend who just came out of the closet, who’s scared of what his parents might think, who doesn’t want to disappoint.

He writes about what happened then and what he wishes he had done.

***

Something, Jongdae thinks, has changed.

The lines of his friendship have become slightly blurred. Jongade isn’t sure where the helping stops and where the real emotions begin anymore.

They still don’t talk about it. The kisses they shared are a mere memory of a slightly drunken, hazy weekend. What else is there to say? It was just inspiration for the novel. It was nothing, really, it was nothing at all.

So why can’t Jongdae stop thinking about it?

“What’s wrong?” Joonmyun asks, waving his hands in front of Jongdae’s face.

“What?”

“You were spaced out,” Joonmyun says, dropping his chopsticks back into the takeout noodle box on his desk, “What are you thinking about?”

“The novel,” Jongdae lies smoothly, absently stirring his own noodles.

“Ah,” Joonmyun hums and Jongdae swears that he sees his cheeks dust a rosy pink, “How’s it going?”

“You know,” Jongdae shrugs, “It’s going.”

“That good, huh?” Joonmyun sits back in his chair, “Am I not being helpful enough?” he chuckles.

Jongdae laughs quietly, “You’re plenty helpful, I just don’t know… How to progress.”

That’s not an entire lie. Jongdae really is in a sort of slump, because the best friends of his novel have finally graduated university and yet they’re still not together. They’re not together, because those two best friends are just sitting down across from each other eating noodles. And they’ll never be together.

Jongdae starts to think that writing about this, about them, was a bad idea.

“How would you like to progress?” Joonmyun asks.

Jongdae doesn’t know what to say, “I’ll figure it out eventually.”

Joonmyun licks his lips and nods, “Why don’t we get drinks tonight?”

“You hate going out for drinks.” Jongdae notes, setting his noodles on Joonmyun’s desk - he’s barely eaten any at all.

“Yes, well, there’s a friend back in town and I’d like to see him. I thought you would want to come with me?”

“Sure. Which friend is this, exactly?” Jongdae inquires.

“You remember Luhan, right?” Joonmyun asks with a smile.

Yes, Jongdae remembers Luhan. He remembers the way Joonmyun moaned Luhan’s name too.

***

When Jongdae shows up at the bar, he’s got a leather clad Baekhyun behind him and Yixing following in tow. He really hates to go anywhere with these two, but he needs the backup if he’s going to be out with Joonmyun and Luhan.

Joonmyun greets Jongdae and smiles awkwardly at both Baekhyun and Yixing. He doesn’t mind Yixing, but Baekhyun is a whole other story. It’s too late to turn back now though.

“We have a booth in the back,” Joonmyun says, pushing past crowds of people.

“We?” Jongdae asks, lips twitching into a frown.

“Yeah,” Joonmyun looks over his shoulder, “Luhan and I met up for dinner before coming here.”

Jongdae frowns the second that Joonmyun looks away. He’s too old to be jealous and it’s not like Joonmyun is his boyfriend or anything so he really shouldn’t care. Except he cares a little bit, because… Because why? He’s confused.

“Jongdae!” Luhan smiles so bright that Jongdae thinks he might go blind, “It’s been so long.” he says, standing from his seat and reaching out to pull Jongdae into a hug.

Jongdae holds his breath and hugs him back, “Hi Luhan.”

The first round of drinks is mildly awkward. Yixing is introduced first as Jongdae’s publicist and only later as Baekhyun’s boyfriend, which leads into the exceptionally painful (for Jongdae anyway) story about how the two met. The second round of drink is a little less awkward, until a petite male shows up at their table and Luhan stands to greet him with a kiss.

Joonmyun’s eyes go round at the sight of him and it’s clear to Jongdae that during dinner, this man was never mentioned.

“Everyone, this is Minseok.” Luhan introduces.

Minseok smiles shyly - Jongdae won’t lie, this guy is seriously hot, “Hello.”

Baekhyun leans across the table, “How long have you two been dating?”

“Well, actually,” Luhan blushes, “We’re married.”

Joonmyun almost chokes on his drink, but Jongdae reaches out under the table to squeeze his leg.

“How long?” Joonmyun asks, his voice sounds smaller than it did before, but only Jongdae seems to notice.

“We eloped a few months ago,” Luhan sounds proud, looking at Minseok - the adoration in his eyes when he looks at him can’t be denied.

“Wow,” Joonmyun hums, looking down at his drink, “Must have been so nice.”

Luhan nods, “It was.” he chuckles, sticking his foot out to nudge Joonmyun’s leg, “When are you going to find someone?”

“Oh, um-“ Joonmyun fidgets with his bottle of beer, his eyebrows furrowing. Jongdae realizes that this can’t be good.

“Joonmyun and I are dating.” he blurts and Luhan’s eyes widen in surprise. Jongdae does not miss the way that Joonmyun’s head snaps in his direction.

“You are?” Luhan asks, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

Jongdae looks at Joonmyun as he nods, “Yeah.” he whispers, watching the way that Joonmyun’s surprise melts from his expression and becomes something akin to relief or maybe thankfulness.

“This is so exciting,” Luhan claps his hands together, “Let me treat everyone to drinks so we can celebrate!”

Joonmyun leans over and presses his lips against Jongdae’s ear, “Thank you.” he whispers and kisses Jongdae there before he pulls away.

It takes a lot of effort to convince Joonmyun to leave his comfortable place at the booth. Baekhyun and Yixing have long since disappeared into the crowd on the dance floor and Minseok and Luhan have slipped away for more drinks. Jongdae knows that Joonmyun is feeling kind of down, but he’s not really sure why.

“Luhan wasn’t that great anyway,” Jongdae says, squeezing Joonmyun’s shoulder.

Joonmyun laughs despite himself, “That’s not- No, Jongdae. That’s not why-“ he smiles when he finally looks at Jongdae, “He has his life together already. Married with a stable job, but I’m still trying to get my life together. I don’t even remember the last person I dated, because-“

Jongdae leans closer, “Because of what?”

“Nothing,” Joonmyun shakes his head, “Why don’t I treat you to a drink?”

Jongdae nods enthusiastically at the offer, following Joonmyun to the bar. Only the bar is completely crowded with people and they can’t get the bartender’s attention.

“One second, I’ll be back.” Joonmyun whispers loudly in Jongdae’s ear.

Jongdae merely nods, watching Joonmyun walk around to the other side of the bar to see if he can get them some drinks. While he’s waiting, Jongdae barely notices the guy stalking up to him. When he does notice, his face flushes, because he’s quite tall and attractive.

“Jongdae,” he says like he knows him.

Maybe he does know him, Jongdae thinks he looks familiar anyway, “Hi?”

“Do you remember me?” the tall male asks.

Jongdae tilts his head to the side when it dawns on him, “Chanyeol?”

He nods, “You remember me, huh?”

“We met three years ago?” Jongdae thinks, but the alcohol he drank earlier is making his memory a little fuzzy, “Maybe it was four…”

Chanyeol chuckles lowly, “It was three years ago.”

“Ah,” Jongdae whistles, “I remember. You were fun.”

Chanyeol smirks, “Every day was fun with you, baby.” he hums, sliding his arm around Jongdae’s waist - Jongdae doesn’t know if he likes that much, but he lets that thought go, because it’s Chanyeol, he knows him.

“Still living your lavish lifestyle.” Jongdae notes, staring at the Rolex watch decorating Chanyeol’s wrist.

“Still rich.” Chanyeol laughs, pulling Jongdae closer against him, “I read that novel you wrote about us.”

“Huh?” Jongdae thinks about it and then nods, “Yeah, right, I guess I did write about us.”

“Didn’t you dump me after you finished that book?” he implores, dragging his finger down Jongdae’s cheek, “Felt like you used me.”

Jongdae laughs then, genuinely, “I told you when we started that you were my muse. Muses don’t last forever.” he says, but he doesn’t realize that Joonmyun is there and he can hear him too.

“What?” Chanyeol asks, looking offended, “You just dated me for a novel?”

Jongdae wriggles his way out of Chanyeol’s loosening grip and leans back against the bar, “What did you think I meant when I asked you to be my muse? I didn’t ask you to be my boyfriend. You said you didn’t care if it was just a fling anyway.”

Chanyeol frowns, “So you really used me?”

“Like I said, you were just my muse.” he shrugs, “I’m sorry if you felt that there was something between us back then.”

“No, I get it,” Chanyeol says, his jaw is rigid, “You’re just a playboy.”

Jongdae pouts, “That’s not fair. You were one too.” he giggles and then notices Joonmyun standing slightly off to the side with their drinks, “If you don’t mind, someone is waiting for me.”

Joonmyun holds out Jongdae’s drink for him when he comes close enough, but his eyes are still trained on the figure of Channel, “Who was that?”

Jongdae looks over his shoulder and giggles before looking back at Joonmyun to accept his drink, “Just one of my old muses.” he says with a shrug, “Where’s your drink?”

“I drank it all waiting for you to stop chatting,” Joonmyun jokes, but it comes out flat, “I’m going to grab another. Want to come with me?”

“Oh,” Jongdae wiggles his eyebrows, “Are you going to drink enough to dance?”

Joonmyun snorts, “Doubtful.”

Jongdae grins devilishly, “Challenge accepted! Shots! We need shots!” he laughs, pulling Joonmyun to the bar.

They get drunk. So, so damn drunk. Drunk enough for Joonmyun to concede going out to the dance floor at the very least, but he’s just sort of standing there awkwardly while Jongdae rolls his body.

“Dance with me,” Jongdae whines, pulling on Joonmyun’s hands and placing them around his waist.

“Jongdae, I can’t dance,” Joonmyun whines back.

Jongdae pouts, “Hyung,” he whines louder, “Hyung, please.”

Joonmyun groans, but he nods and Jongdae grins in victory. Dancing with Joonmyun is always fun for Jongdae, because Joonmyun is very, very attractive and it earns some hard stares from people who want Joonmyun too. Jongdae gets a thrill from knowing that he can have Joonmyun to himself like this, because he’s his best friend.

Jongdae turns around, grinding on Joonmyun and Joonmyun gasps loud in his ear, even over the bass of the music thumping from the speakers. From the corner of Jongdae’s eyes, he can see Yixing and Baekhyun dancing together in the most lewd manner and he kind of wants to do that too. It’s probably the drinks he’s had, but he wants to pull Joonmyun close the same way Baekhyun is pulling Yixing against him.

“Put your arms around me,” Jongdae whines, leaning back against Joonmyun.

Joonmyun hesitantly wraps his arm around Jongdae’s chest, “Like this?”

Jongdae giggles, grinding his ass back against Joonmyun’s crotch, “Dance, hyung!”

“This doesn’t seem like dancing, Dae.” Joonmyun gasps, swaying his hips along with Jongdae’s.

“Come on, Joon!” Jongdae shouts over the music as he spins around to grind his hips against Joonmyun’s.

Joonmyun gasps, grinding forward on impulse and, finally, they’re dancing. It’s kind of obscene how they grind against each other, how close they are to each other, but they’re both intoxicated beyond those limitations. Jongdae wants to get closer and it seems like Joonmyun does too. Except at this point, they’re so close that nothing could get between them. It makes Jongdae’s heart beat out of his chest and his body thrum with excitement.

He looks beyond Joonmyun’s shoulder and spies Baekhyun and Yixing disappearing out of the club. He snickers as he scans the room before he spots Luhan kissing Minseok rather passionately and he kinda wants to kiss someone like that too. He wants to kiss and be kissed as lovingly, so he looks up at Joonmyun with half lidded eyes and lips parted. He’s going to ask if he can kiss him, going to ask if this is okay. Only Joonmyun’s lips are on his in an instant, warm and wet and rough.

Joonmyun’s hands find their way to Jongdae’s clothed ass and he gropes him, squeezing enough to make Jongdae whimper into the kiss. They only part when they can’t breathe and by then Jongdae is near tears, because his cock is so hard in his pants, desperate to be freed and touched.

“Hyung,” He whines, “I want- Please- Joon-“ he can’t make a coherent sentence, but by the look in Joonmyun’s eyes, he definitely understands what he wants.

“My place,” Joonmyun breathes out.

***

“Is this okay?” Jongdae whispers as his fingers quickly undo the top buttons of Joonmyun’s shirt.

Joonmyun nods, “Yes,” he says gripping Jongdae’s waist and pushing their hips together roughly, “Yes, Jongdae.”

How could Jongdae argue with that? They tear clothes from each other, driven by absolute desire and lust just to touch. The pair stumble into Joonmyun’s room and find their way to his bed between their sloppy kissing and drunken giggles. And finally, they come to the line they hadn’t been able to cross before. This time, they cross it. This time, Joonmyun moans Jongdae’s name.

“J-Joonie-“ Jongdae gasps, “H-Harder, please!” he cries out.

Joonmyun groans, thrusting harder against Jongdae’s ass, burying his face into Jongdae’s neck. Jongdae cries, his fingers digging into Joonmyun’s back and dragging harsh, red lines into his skin from the forceful pleasure that Joonmyun is giving him. Joonmyun, his best friend.

“Dae,” Joonmyun moans, “Oh Dae, I’m- I’m gonna-“ he gasps in Jongdae’s ear, kissing his neck as he pushes his cock deeper inside of Jongdae’s perky, round ass.

Joonmyun reaches down to grab Jongdae’s cock, pinching his nipples on his way down. It only takes one rough tug of his cock and a nail dipping into the slit for Jongdae’s body to shake into pleasure. He nearly screams in pleasure as his back arches of the bed then Jongdae suddenly comes all over himself with Joonmyun’s dick still pumping in and out of his ass. Joonmyun whimpers as Jongdae’s ass clenches around his cock so tight and warm. He comes with the delicious heat encasing him and rides out the orgasm by thrusting slowly inside of Jongdae, his body going limp on top of him.

“Joon,” Jongde whines as Joonmyun pulls his cock out, “Oh shit.” he sighs as he curls into Joonmyun’s embrace.

Joonmyun cards his fingers through his hair gently, “Pretty boy.” he whispers.

Jongdae likes that. He likes being called pretty boy, he likes Joonmyun. He likes… He likes Joonmyun so much.

“Like you,” he mumbles as he falls asleep to Joonmyun’s fingers rubbing softly into his back, “Like you so much.”

“What?” Joonmyun asks, but Jongdae is already snoring against his chest.

***

Jongdae wakes up naked and hungover. There’s a glass of water on the side table he’s reaching for when he realizes this isn’t his bedroom. This is Joonmyun’s bedroom. And he’s naked.

“Oh God.” he groans as the realization of what happened between them last night hits him, “Fuck.”

He hops from the bed, but falls back, because his head is spinning with a headache. It takes him a long time, but he manages to get up and slip into his shirt and his boxers after finding them neatly folded on Joonmyun’s dresser. After he finally gets clothes on, he nervously makes his way out of Joonmyun’s room and down the hall.

Jongdae finds Joonmyun  in the kitchen - he’s cleaning. He only ever cleans when he’s frustrated, but that little habit falls to the back of Jongdae’s mind. Instead of reading the signs, seeing the frustration on Joonmyun’s face, he walks up behind him and wraps his arms around his waist.

“Morning,” he mumbles, burying his face into the crook of Joonmyun’s neck. He doesn’t notice how Joonmyun’s body stiffens uncomfortably.

Joonmyun doesn’t respond, instead he pushes Jongdae’s arms off of him and turns around in order to face him properly. Jongdae thinks he looks really handsome in the morning, he’s definitely freshly showered and he smells so good.

“Jongdae, we need to talk.” he says, his voice is distant and his face is stoic.

Jongdae blinks slowly, “About what?”

Joonmyun sighs, “Do you like me?”

Jongdae guffaws, “Of course I like you. You’re my best friend.”

Joonmyun shakes his head, like that’s not what he wanted to hear.

Jongdae pouts, “What’s wrong?”

“This thing that’s happening between us.” Joonmyun says gesturing between them, “Me becoming your muse.”

Jongdae takes Joonmyun’s hands and offers a small smile, “Like you said. What else are best friends for?”

“Stop,” Joonmyun sighs in slight irritation, he shuts his eyes tight like he’s willing away his anger, “Stop this.”

“It’s okay.” Jongdae insists.

Joonmyun’s blank expression instantly hardens, his eyebrows furrowing as he frowns, “It’s not okay.” he says, grabbing Jongdae’s hands and shoving them away, “I’m not okay with this.”

Jongdae makes a weird face, “What are you talking about?”

Then… Something just snaps. Joonmyun just snaps.

“I don’t want to be your muse anymore Jongdae!” he yells suddenly, “You have this way of draining people of their emotions when they come into your life. You take and take, but you never give. I’ve seen people come and go before me, inspiring you to do your best work, and I don’t want to be one of those people. I don’t want to be someone you use and then let go like the rest of them.” he’s fuming and he’s hurt, that much is clear, but Jongdae is stubborn and feeling… Betrayed.

“What do you want, Joonmyun? You knew what you were getting into when I asked for your help. I needed you to be there for me, to get me out of this slump-”

“Fuck!”

Jongdae had never heard Joonmyun curse like that before. He was always so patient and kind… What was happening to them?

“For someone who writes an awful lot of romance, you just don’t fucking get it, do you?”

Jongdae opens and closes his mouth, but nothing comes out. He takes a step back and feels his anger fade into something else, something sour. This isn’t right.

“I should go.” Jongdae says through his teeth.

Joonmyun nods, “You should.”

***

Jongdae slams the door to his apartment, shaking the frame and making Baekhyun fall off of the couch. Yixing’s head pokes up from beneath the blankets he’s buried under, but Jongdae ignores them in favour of dropping all of his shit in the porch and stomping towards his room.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Baekhyun asks, watching Jongdae seethe.

“Fuck off.” Jongdae growls, storming to his room.

When Jongdae finds seeks the solace of his bedroom, he sinks onto his bed and begins to cry. He cries until his heart fucking shatters in his chest and his chest is heaving with sobs until he can’t breathe. He can’t stop himself for hurting so much, because he fucked up. He fucked up so bad.

He notices his laptop sitting on the corner of his bed so he picks it up and throws it across the room. Nothing he does makes him feel better, nothing he thinks of makes the pain stop. He just wants Joonmyun, he wants to be with Joonmyun…

“Joon,” Jongdae sobs into his pillow.

The sobs only subside when he falls asleep.

***

Baekhyun’s knuckles rap against the door to Jongdae’s room, “Hey, are you alive in there?”

“Go away,” Jongdae calls back.

Baekhyun takes that as an invitation to let himself in. When he enters, he finds Jongdae in his boxers and buried among his blankets… In other words, he looks like a hot mess.

“What happened to you?” Baekhyun asks, sitting at the edge of the bed, “Talk to me.”

Jongdae mumbles something into his pillow, but Baekhyun can’t hear a word he says.

“What was that?”

“I said,” Jongdae mumbles, turning his head, “I fucked up.”

Baekhyun snorts, “Yeah, okay, I know that, obviously. What happened?”

“Joonmyun and I slept together,” Jongdae sighs, turning onto his back, “I slept with him and told him we were just best friend the next day. But we _are_ just best friends and he was only my muse, I just-” he takes a deep breath, “I ruined everything.”

“Holy shit,” Baekhyun breathes, “You really did fuck up.”

Jongdae sighs, “He said it was okay. I always asked first and he said it was okay.”

Baekhyun shakes his head, “Your first mistake was assuming that Joonmyun would be okay with this.”

“What do I do now?” Jongdae whines, curling in on himself and hugging his pillow to his chest.

“You tell him the truth.” Baekhyun offers.

“What would that be exactly?”

“That you’re in love with him.”

“W-What? I’m not-”

“Yes,” Baekhyun says, patting Jongdae’s butt, “Yes, you are.”

Regrettably, Jongdae thinks that Baekhyun might be right.

***

Whenever Jongdae tries to contact Joonmyun, he’s conveniently unavailable. Meaning that he’s screening Jongdae’s calls and really Jongdae can’t blame him. He’d probably do the same if he were in his shoes.

Jongdae spends a lot of time on his novel, but it doesn’t quite take the turn that he wants. At least it can help him escape from the pain he caused Joonmyun. Because he gets it now. Why Joonmyun kissed him, held him… It makes more sense when he thinks about Joonmyun’s feelings for him as being _real_ rather than part of the whole muse deal.

He finishes the manuscript in two weeks.

Yixing hums as he flips through the manuscript, “This is good. It’s raw. It’s captivating. It’s everything I’ve been waiting for you to write.” he sighs as he tosses the paper onto his desk.

“Thanks.” Jongdae mutters, uncrossing his legs and fidgeting in his seat.

“Baekhyun told me. About your best friend.” Yixing says, taking his glasses off and folding them before placing them neatly on his desk.

Jongdae grumbles, “Of course he did.”

“Is he why your manuscript has such an open ending?”

“I couldn’t find the right ending, that’s all. Not with Joonmyun.”

Yixing looks thoughtful for a moment and then he sighs, leaning back in his chair, “You know what your problem is?”

“Enlighten me.”

“I think your problem is that you spend so much time and energy searching for love for the characters in your novels that you fail to see what’s right in front of you.”

Jongdae thinks that Yixing might be right, for once.

His book goes into print the following week.

He sends a copy of his manuscript to Joonmyun’s office with an accompanying note of apology… Anonymously.

***

Jongdae thinks he’s snapped. Two days after sending the manuscript to Joonmyun’s office, he shows up at his best friend’s doorstep with the assumption that he had received it and read it rather than throwing it i the trash. Or worse, shredding it.

Regardless, it takes all of his courage to knock on the door and wait. The moment between his knocking and the moment in which Joonmyun actually opens the door, Jongdae feels like his heart might explode out of his chest. This is the longest moment of his life.

“Jongdae?” Joonmyun sounds surprised when he opens the door.

The words Jongdae had rehearsed on the way over here have been lost on his tongue. And, really, someone who is this good with words should not be having this much trouble figuring out what to say.

“I sent you my manuscript.” Jongdae blurts out, stupidly.

“Oh,” Joonmyun looks puzzled, “I received it. And I read it. The whole thing.”

Jongdae nods, “I’m glad you didn’t throw it out.”

Joonmyun shifts awkwardly, “Of course not.”

“So,” Jongdae clears his throat, secretly wishing that maybe the floor might open up and swallow him whole, “What did you think of it?”

Joonmyun worries his bottom lip and opens the door to his apartment a little wider, “Come in.”

It’s weird being in Joonmyun’s apartment now since the last time Jongdae was there they had slept together and then argued. He stands awkwardly in the porch and Joonmyun stares at him for a long time before he rubs his temples. Jongdae knows what that means - Joonmyun can’t figure out what to say.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Joonmyun asks with a frown.

Jongdae blinks, “What?”

“The boys in your novel, they’re us.” Joonmyun fidgets with his fingers, “It’s me and you. How long have you been planning to write this?”

Jongdae shrugs, “For a little while, I guess.”

“Is it true?” Joonmyun looks into Jongdae’s eyes, stealing his breath away with the hopeful look Jongdae finds there, “What Chen said to Suho in the novel… Is it true?”

Jongdae swallows hard and nods, “Yes.” he says simply, because he’s tired of hiding his feelings, tired of pretending like he could love anyone other than Joonmyun.

“For how long?”

“For as long as Chen loved Suho.”

Joonmyun laughs sadly, tears welling in his eyes, “Why did you never tell me?”

It’s Jongdae’s turn to laugh this time and he cries when he does, “How can you tell your best friend that you’re in love with him?”

Joonmyun cries too, before cupping Jongdae’s face between his hands, “Like this.” he whispers as he slots their lips together.

***

Jongdae pins Joonmyun to his bed, kissing down his chest and sucking on his nipples teasingly. Joonmyun’s back arches off the bed and he whines as Jongdae’s lips trail down further. He kisses Joonmyun all over, lovingly and tenderly, because he wants Joonmyun to know that this time he really means it.

Jongdae’s lips pucker around the head of Joonmyun’s cock, dipping his tongue into the slit. He can feel Joonmyun’s body shaking under his touch, can feel his thighs trembling under his fingertips. And Joonmyun, he tastes so good on Jongdae’s tongue, he can’t help it when he moans around the length filling his mouth.

“Dae-” he chokes on a moan when Jongdae slips a finger inside of him, working him open slowly with lube dripping everywhere as he sucks his cock.

“Hm?” Jongdae hums, kissing the crown of Joonmyun’s dick. He looks up and finds that Joonmyun is looking down at him, flushed from arousal and his arm splayed over his forehead. He looks beautifully wrecked.

“Fuck me.” he sighs.

So Jongdae does. He fucks Joonmyun slow at first with long, deep thrusts that make him beg for more. Jongdae whines, burying his face into Joonmyun’s neck as he speeds up the snapping of his hips, because Joonmyun is so, so tight and wonderful. Joonmyun arches as Jongdae’s cock hits his prostate and he whimpers when Jongdae finally reaches between them to jerk him off.

It hits Joonmyun at full force, his body shakes with his orgasm and Jongdae fucks him through it. Joonmyun gasps, pulling Jongdae in for a passionate kiss as Jongdae grinds forward, chasing his own release. Jongdae finally comes with some encouraging moans from Joonmyun in his ear and a squeeze on the swell of his ass. They collapse together on Joonmyun’s bed after it, gasping for air, but smiling.

“I love you.” Jongdae breathes out, resting against Joonmyun’s chest, “Joonmyun, I love you.”

Joonmyun laughs and closes his eyes, “I love you too, Jongdae.” he whispers, leaning down to kiss the top of his head, “I love you so much.”

***

Jongdae groans loudly, flinging the still untied tie across the limo. He’s been trying to figure out how to tie it for a solid ten minutes now so he’s just really annoyed. Joonmyun simply chuckles, reaching out to pick up the thin piece of silk and dust it off.

“Do you need help?” Joonmyun asks, looking at Jongdae like Jongdae holds the key to the universe.

“Please.” Jongdae whines with a cute pout.

Joonmyun takes the tie between his fingers and easily ties it around Jongdae’s neck, straightening it out for him until he’s pleased with his work.

“You’re so beautiful.” Joonmyun says, kisses Jongdae’s nose, “I’m so proud of you.”

Jongdae’s cheeks tint pink, “Is that why you insisted on fucking me against the wall before we left our apartment?”

Joonmyun’s entire face turns red, “That and because I love you… Really, Jongdae, I am proud.” he says sheepishly.

Jongdae laughs and reaches out to pull Joonmyun in for a kiss, “Thank you. Thank you for being with me, for being my muse.”

The limo comes to a stop at a red carpet event for the premiere of his best selling novel. Jongdae takes one look out at the crowds of people and then looks back at Joonmyun nervously. He wants to say ‘please don’t make me go out there,’ but Joonmyun squeezes his hand and kisses his cheek. Suddenly, he feels like maybe this won’t be so bad after all. He’s got Joonmyun with him at least and, well, what are boyfriends for?

“I love you.” Jongdae says and Joonmyun chuckles.

“I know.”

Jongdae’s shoulders drop and he feels a lot less tension from the jitters he was facing until this moment, “Did you just Han Solo me?”

Joonmyun wiggles his eyebrows, “Come on, Dae, don’t want to keep your fans waiting,” he laughs, reaching out to open the door to the limo for him.

Walking the red carpet together is an experience Jongdae will always remember. It seems silly, Jongdae thinks, of Yixing to put this whole event together, but his novel has done really well recently. So he plays along with it - besides, he gets to act like he’s famous for a night.

Jongdae is greeted with flashing lights as he steps onto the carpet and he has to squint at them to really see. It’s too bright and this is all really too much, but Yixing and the publishing company had insisted. The numbers of his novel had gone through the roof and they just had to celebrate it. So Jongdae forces himself to walk down the red carpet, his arm hooked with Joonmyun’s.

That is, at least, until Joonmyun stumbles and falls down on his knee.

“Hyung!” Jongdae gasps, “Are you okay?”

Joonmyun looks up, still on one knee, and pulls a ring from the inner pocket of his jacket. Jongdae is going to kill him… With love.

(He says yes, by the way.)


End file.
